


The One Where No One Believes Eduardo Is Real

by pasdexcuses



Category: Social Network (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-17
Updated: 2012-09-17
Packaged: 2017-11-14 10:13:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/514137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pasdexcuses/pseuds/pasdexcuses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I already told you, I don't need you to set me up; I have a boyfriend."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Where No One Believes Eduardo Is Real

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://tsn-kinkmeme.livejournal.com/12119.html?thread=21356119#t21356119) on the .

**Disclaimer:** This work is based on the characters as portrayed in the movie The Social Network, not real people. And, obviously, I’m not making any money from this. 

 

**The One Where No One Believes Eduardo Is Real**

 

"But, Maaaaark," Dustin starts. Again. "We only want to see you happy and _satisfied_ ," he adds, wriggling his eyebrows at the last part. "So, if you could just tell us what kinda girl you're into--"

 

"Or guy," Chris interjects.

 

"Yes, or guy, we don't mind. We could set you up!"

 

Mark thinks Chris and Dustin are timing these "interventions". He has been keeping count, over the past month, and has found that they try to find him a date at least once a week. 

 

"I don't need you to set me up," Mark says, taking out his laptop.

 

"There is no shame in needing a little help," Dustin insists, like Mark will eventually give into their version of peer-pressure.

 

They should know better by now. If Mark doesn't want to do it, he won't. Simple as that. 

 

"Mark, one date won't kill you," Chris reasons, probably because he thinks Mark will listen to a rational statement. 

 

But still, Mark doesn't need a date. 

 

"I already told you, I don't need you to set me up; I have a boyfriend."

 

"A Brazilian student from Yale whom we have never seen," Chris supplies.

 

"Yes."

 

He can see Chris throwing his hands in the air but it's Dustin who says, "Mark, come on."

 

"Look, just because you've never seen him--"

 

"Fine, whatever," Dustin says. Then, "You try to do something nice for a guy..."

 

Mark allows himself to roll his eyes before putting on his headphones and wiring in. It's not his fault they don't believe Eduardo is real. 

 

*

 

For some reason, they let the topic drop for over a week. Don't get him wrong, Mark isn't complaining here. It's just that he has the very distinct suspicion that Chris and Dustin are planing something behind Mark's back. Something that will involve a blind date and Mark being unable to get out of it. 

 

So Mark is very careful around them, always thinking twice about where he goes and making sure he always has an excuse to go back to his room. But when Dustin talks him into buying this brand new video game, Mark is too enticed by the idea of getting his hands on it that he forgoes all precaution and hell breaks loose. 

 

Mark should have seen it coming, really. This is a great oversight on his part. But Dustin has already dragged him across campus and into a coffee for a "short stop" by the time Mark realizes what is going on. He groans out loud when a stranger sits in the chair opposite to him.

 

"Mark?" the guy asks. 

 

Nodding, Mark thinks about disemboweling Dustin and feeding Chris to sharks. It's a pleasant thought that gets him past the pleasantries and into small talk that Mark has no interest in. He already has a boyfriend, okay?

 

"Look, I gotta go," Mark says, five minutes into the conversation. 

 

The guy glares at Mark, huffing under his breath but Mark doesn't give a shit. He's angry and flustered and ready to stop talking to his roommates for the rest of his life when he runs into Eduardo.

 

There's a moment of pause where Mark stares dumbly at Eduardo. 

 

"Hey," Eduardo says, giving Mark a smile. "I wanted to surprise you but I got lost."

 

*

 

For all that Mark wants to lock Eduardo up in his room and proceed with operation Ignore Chris and Dustin for the Rest of Mark’s Life, his plans are ruined pretty soon. This is mostly Dustin's fault. It is mostly his fault because the first words out of Dustin's mouth when Eduardo comes into the suite with Mark are, "Well, that's not who your date was supposed to be."

 

Mark groans, making a mental note to murder Dustin in his sleep. 

 

But Eduardo turns to Mark, frowning. "You had a date?"

 

"Oh, don't worry, you're a considerable improvement. I have to give it to you, Mark-y Mark, for ditching your original date," Dustin quips before Mark can strangle him. Dustin looks torn between amused and scared as Mark glares at him. In the end, he must decide the situation is more amusing than anything else because he adds with a wink, "I'm so proud of you."

 

Mark goes bright red because, really, this is a terrible time for inappropriate comments, and _oh god_ what is Eduardo going to think?

 

Thankfully, Chris steps in to smack Dustin over the head. Then, turning to Mark, "What you did is very rude." He pauses before he adds, facing Eduardo, "No offense."

 

Mark tears his eyes away from the floor to look at Eduardo. Eduardo is mostly gaping at the three of them, with his mouth hanging half-open. Eduardo clenches his jaw, swallowing visibly before asking, "Mark, what's going on?" There's something uncharacteristically hard about Eduardo's face. Something Mark has only seen once, when Eduardo's father called him in the middle of dinner. 

 

"Wardo," Mark starts. "I can explain."

 

"Wait a minute," Chris interrupts. "You're not..." He points at Eduardo, narrowing his eyes. "Oh, my god, you are. You're _Eduardo_."

 

"Um, yes?" Eduardo replies awkwardly.

 

"I hate you. I hate all of you," Mark says before he gives Eduardo his full attention. "These are my roommates, Chris and Dustin, they are delusional people who should be avoided at all costs," Mark explains, grabbing Eduardo's wrist. He drags Eduardo into his room but before he locks the door, Mark whirls around to glare at Chris and Dustin. "I told you I had a boyfriend." 

 

*

 

Mark has never hated his roommates so much. Really. Because, after spending half an hour convincing Eduardo that _this is not Mark’s fault_ , Eduardo decides something has to be done about Chris and Dustin. Which means Mark is going to have to share his boyfriend with ridiculous people so that they’ll believe that, yes, Eduardo is indeed dating Mark.

 

When they get out of the room, Chris is the first one to speak, “Mark, we are _so sorry_.” Well, at least he has the decency of sounding genuine.

 

So it goes like this:

 

Eduardo introduces himself because he is too nice and polite to tell Mark's roommates he thinks they're full of shit. He fake-smiles through Chris' apology -- and Mark knows it's a fake smile, the corners of Eduardo's mouth are all wrong. Then Eduardo allows himself to be invited to an illegally-acquired beer by Dustin. And everything else just sort of happens. 

 

Mark grabs a beer for himself because there is no chance in hell of him sitting through uncomfortable silence sober. But then he goes to take the spot on the couch next to Eduardo -- and if anyone complains about Mark rubbing his boyfriend in their faces, well it's their fault to begin with -- when Eduardo grabs Mark's wrist, pulling him in. This only works to throw Mark off-balance so that he doesn't so much sit on the couch as he does on Eduardo's lap. Accidentally. Except then Eduardo wriggles under him and settles his hand on Mark's hip, and, oh, okay. 

 

There's a moment where everyone but Eduardo is confused. No, really. Mark's eyes go wide and his face feels suddenly hot as Chris and Dustin blatantly gawk at them. Mark cranes his head to look at Eduardo because, if Mark remembers correctly, Eduardo has very strong opinions on PDAs. 

 

"Wardo?" Mark asks but his voice goes funny and high-pitched toward the end.

 

"Mhmm?"

 

Eduardo's eyes are closed, like he is genuinely enjoying the experience. Mark has to look away from him because. Well, because Eduardo is fucking hot and he only looks like this when he's about to whisper something dirty in Mark's ear, and, no. Mark is not getting hard in front of his ~~friends ~~ roommates. Someone has to draw a line somewhere. 

 

Mark barely manages to extricate himself away from Eduardo to sit on the couch when Eduardo rests a deliberate hand on Mark's knee. A hand that somewhere in between Dustin's "So what's your major?" and Chris' "How did you guys meet?" moves up so that Eduardo's whole arm is draped around Mark's shoulders. 

 

Mark wouldn't mind. Really, he is not all that against Eduardo point-blank invading his personal space. However, Mark is starting to get a crick in his neck because Eduardo is sitting upright, pressing their bodies so close that the only comfortable position for Mark would be to rest his head on Eduardo's shoulder. Which is not gonna happen because he is not going to be mocked after Eduardo goes for being a girl. 

 

And this is really, so awkward. It's awkward enough that even _Mark_ can tell it's awkward. Because Chris keeps shooting glances at Mark, still looking torn between 'I'm sorry I didn't believe you' and 'I'm proud of you' like he's Mark's dad or something. And then there's Dustin's ridiculous gaping-goldfish-face. 

 

"Summer job," Eduardo answers Chris' question, taking a sip from his beer and squeezing Mark's shoulder. "I was Mark's boss."

 

Which naturally makes Dustin spit-take on his beer. Before Dustin can stop himself, he is making a comment on inappropriate work-place relationships, how pleased he is that Eduardo is taking care of corrupting young Mark and how he 'always knew Mark had it in him'. It makes all four of them burst out laughing. Eduardo's death grip on Mark sort of relaxes as the tension breaks. 

 

He is slumping next to Mark by the time he says, "I was seduced by his insults."

 

Eduardo is looking only at Mark when he says this. And this time, his smile is very real.

 

*

 

By the time Chris decides they should probably head out if they want to make it to that AEPi party, they are already properly drunk. Eduardo staggers as he gets off the couch, looking absurd now that, in his drunken state, he has lost all sense of poise and style. Mark laughs openly at him, not in a mean way but in a nice way. Because Mark likes Eduardo and he'd never be too mean to him.

 

"Dude," Dustin starts, staring at Mark. "He makes you laugh. And not your usual snide smirk but laugh. Oh my god, Chris, he's _adorable_." Dustin chooses this moment to grab a painful hold of Mark's cheeks. He squishes them in a way that reminds Mark of that aunt he used to dread when he was seven. Dustin's saying all these things that make no sense. In fact, Mark is pretty sure Dustin is attempting to baby-talk but is too drunk even for that. 

 

It'd be funny except Mark's cheeks hurt. And also, what the fuck. 

 

Mark glares at Dustin as he tries to wriggle away but Dustin has a pretty strong hold on his cheeks. "Gimme my face back!" Mark snarls but the sound comes out muffled. 

 

It's only then that Eduardo appears behind him. Placing his hands on each side of Mark's hips, Eduardo nuzzles his nose on Mark's neck. Dustin's hands drop in a heartbeat. 

 

" _Ew_ ,” Dustin says. Then, turning to Chris, "Are you sure going out is such a good a idea? Mark, I'm sure you guys put on a lovely show, but really. I don't think anyone wants to see that."

 

"Sometimes," Chris starts in a slow voice that is a clear indicator of how much alcohol he has ingested. "Sometimes, Dustin, I wish I could gag you."

 

Mark is about to laugh but the sound gets lost halfway in his throat when Eduardo sniggers against his throat.

 

"Kinky, Christopher," Dustin says, grabbing his jacket. "Well, come on, I'm not gonna drag you outside! It's a lovely night. Though if you two prefer to uses the premises while Chris and I are off pretending you're not staining our couch, be my guest."

 

That comment earns him another smack on the back of his head from Chris. Somewhere in the back of his mind Mark is cataloguing Chris as being a violent drunk. Somewhere in a very dark, faraway corner that is not suffering from Eduardo Saverin-induced malfunction. 

 

"Come on, Mark," Eduardo says, taking his hand. "I wanna see how you party at Harvard." 

 

"Wardo, AEPi is lame," Mark states because it's true.

 

But Eduardo stops walking to door. He stops to stare at Mark and say, "Are you... do you want to stay in?"

 

And there's something about the way Eduardo's voice goes all high-pitched and stupid at the end that makes Mark go bright red. It also makes him want to say yes because they'll have the suite to themselves. But Mark remembers Chris and Dustin and goes even redder. Mark panics, for a moment, not knowing what to do. It's not as if Mark _planned_ to have sexy times tonight. Fuck, Mark's never even had sex and he's probably to drunk to coordinate, that'd be a disaster. 

 

So Mark shakes his head. "No, we-I, that is you. I mean, you want to go to the party, right?" Marks stutters.

 

Narrowing his eyes at Mark, Eduardo takes a moment before answering, "Yeah. Yeah, let's go to the party."

 

*

 

The fact that they are able to make it to the party in one piece -- Dustin falls neatly on his ass once, and Chris, trying to help him up, falls right beside him -- is an accomplishment in and of itself. The place, for an AEPi party, is not completely deserted. It isn't Caribbean Night and the lame DJ is playing some psychedelic loop instead of pictures of Niagara Falls, so Mark guesses it's an improvement. 

 

"You people sure know how to party," Eduardo comments, looking at the four couples on the dancefloor. 

 

Dustin breaks into a manic grin. "I like him, Mark. Don't scare him away!"

 

Eduardo looks from Dustin to Mark for a second before his eyes settle on Mark's face. Eduardo's cheeks look like they hurt from how hard he's smiling. "Your friends like me!" Eduardo exclaims as thought that's some sort feat. 

 

Rolling his eyes, Mark tries not to get the smiling-too-hard disease as he replies, "Whatever."

 

"Mark," Eduardo says, drawing so close he's practically breathing on Mark's face. "I can tell when you're trying not to smile."

 

Flipping him off, Mark turns his face to look for someone sane but apparently Chris has succumbed as well. He's staring at Mark like he wants to hug him and what is it with people tonight? Seriously. Mark sets his jaw tight. He's pretty sure he's making that face that Randi says makes him look like a petulant two-year-old. But Mark happens to think it is a proper scowl. That's right, Mark frowns and clenches his jaw and _scowls_ at the world. 

 

"You're adorable!" Dustin says again before he grabs Chris to fetch some drinks. 

 

"Hey," Eduardo says when Dustin and Chris are out of sight. He leans in for a kiss but there's no way Mark is getting on his tiptoes to meet Eduardo halfway. But Eduardo still closes his eyes, bending like some sort of impossible pretzel to catch Mark's lips. 

 

"You stink," Mark says.

 

"So do you," Eduardo replies, kissing Mark open-mouthed.

 

It's pretty ridiculous because Mark doesn't feel even slightly exposed despite the fact that, after a couple of minutes, they have somehow ended up all but grinding up against the wall behind his back. It just feels right. And then they break apart and Eduardo is staring at Mark, biting his lips and staring and it isn't just right. It belongs. Maybe it's because Mark is too drunk to make any sense. Maybe this has been a longtime coming. But Mark smiles without holding back and he, he's in love, okay?

 

"Wardo," Mark starts, taking a fistful of Eduardo's shirt to pull him closer. "I think I--"

 

"I'm transferring to Harvard," Eduardo blurts out, eyes huge.

 

"What?"

 

"I... Shit," Eduardo says, dropping his head on Mark's shoulder and groaning. "Fuck, I didn't wanna say it like that," Eduardo continues, his words muffled by the way he keeps pressing his mouth to Mark's neck, like he doesn't want to let go. When Eduardo finally stops breathing the crook of Mark's neck, he's looking truly mortified. "Look, I've been thinking about this for a while. I mean, of course I want to transfer because you're here but also because I love their Econ program and I finally have the money even if father disowns me and when my papers were approved this week, I was so excited, I just wanted to come and tell you in person but I also wanted to do it _right_ , and god, Mark, say something before I talk myself into the next century."

 

"You're gonna be studying at Harvard?" Mark parrots because his head is spinning too fast with Eduardo's words. 

 

"Yeah. No, I mean yes, next semester. I... Do you hate me?" Eduardo asks, and Mark knows Eduardo is too drunk because he looks honestly afraid.

 

"For making sure I don't blow away my allowance on train rides? Yeah, Wardo, fucking furious, can't you tell?"

 

"You're horrible," Eduardo says but he's grinning now. Then, "Kiss me."

 

Mark tsks. "So needy." 

 

"Oh, you have no idea," Eduardo says into Mark's mouth, making Mark moan. "Fuck, wanna get out of here?"

 

"Yeah, yes."

 

Eduardo gives Mark one last kiss before he grabs Mark hand and leads them outside.

 

*

 

In the morning, Mark wakes up with a throbbing headache and a half-naked Eduardo draped all over him. 

 

"Wardo," Mark says, nudging him. "Wardo, I can't breathe."

 

Eduardo mumbles something as he blinks at Mark. When he looks down at their bodies, Eduardo doesn't blush or immediately remove himself in shame like Mark would've done. Instead, he readjusts so that he's spooning Mark. 

 

"Morning," Eduardo says around a yawn.

 

Mark is just settling in when Dustin throws the door open.

 

"Mark, we're gonna--" Dustin starts but stops as he sees Eduardo cuddling Mark. "Jesus Christ, put a sock of your door or something! Christopher, my eyes, _my eyes_!"

 

"What's your problem Dus--" Chris says, standing by the threshold next to Dustin. "Well, that's gonna take some time to get used to.” Chris takes one look in their general direction before he zeroes in on Mark facepalming in disbelief. “Also, lock your fucking door, Mark."

 

Mark flips his friends off. Eduardo chuckles on Mark's skin and Mark can feel the sound vibrating all the way down his spine. Mark’s heart starts racing, drumming in his ribcage like it wants out. Mark has to be dreaming. 

 

But then Eduardo bites Mark's neck playfully and it hurts, the way it's supposed to when you're very much alive.

 


End file.
